I woke up dreaming - that is to say, I woke up but was still sleeping and found myself in the expansive space between sleep and wakefulness, where we are both.
I was there - and the waking side of me was talking business. And the sleeping side was dreaming. And everything became possible.
I had these two separate but related ideas, to quantify every bit of our repetitive behaviour such that we could have an offset system for waste - like carbon capture to encourage meaning; and an on-the-go donation system formed of little recognized abilities and talents - “all together we could accomplish anything”
I also wakefully dreamed of a reverse maze, where the paths where elevated and the hedges sank down into nothingness. There was lava down below. We would drop our disposable items into crevices to fall into a unified lava system - a consuming sewer system, with byproduct-collection system, to condense and transform
I dreamt thoughtfully of a no-packaging society, where items were just as they were, and we picked them up with our own reusable containers. Particularly food, but with lifecycle engineering, everything. Stores filled with silos with sensors where we specified the quantity we wanted, and that’s what we got in our use-again receptacles
So I woke up like this, and as I really woke up, I still felt as though in a dream. I sat at the foot of my bed, looking at the curtains. I slowly reached forward and peeked behind them. I let them fall back over the window. I did this several times, as if to verify it was real, as if some small part of me was seeing this for the first time.
I moved slowly. I drifted through a routine.
But it was different because all I wanted to do was roam around Paris. To buy a notebook and sit in famous places, and odd places, and hidden places, and think and write and draw and be silent
As I left the house, I put music into my ears. Have you ever felt like you were gliding? Not so much the motion, but the fluidity of your surroundings.
That’s when I seemed to find myself awake within a dream. I realized that I was outside, and felt like I was inside. I was just dressed different. I was wearing “outside” clothes, but the way I felt, the way I looked at everything - they may as well have been in some sort of extension to my living room.
We live in a perpetual twilight defined one way or another by our choices, perspectives and perceptions
The subway moved, it was gliding too, with my head bobbing slightly, lightly, weightlessly sitting within this flying robotic caterpillar racing through the Paris underground
Twisting and shaking and heaving with silent still bodies sitting inside, and minds an infinite amount more different than the facades sneaking fleeting glances at one another,
twisting and shaking and heaving and racing themselves
A life within a dream within a secret life, a mind within a body within an underground world.
Perceptions, perspective, choices
I chose this morning to go slow. To forget what’s heavy. To keep dreaming even as I wake, to set aside the rush with the power of my mind making the world take a deep exhaling breath
Here I am, in Paris - home, and not quite home. Twilight.
Here I am, at work - in the fast world, silent writing. Twilight.
Here I am, awake - but thoughtful and still like a dream. Twilight
The idea that I write this, at a desk, in an office with 10 desks, a chatter of noise, phones going off, questions asked, documents zipping real and virtual in every direction and all the time…
The idea that I write this in a cocoon of thought shielded from a slice of chaos…
The idea that none are the wiser in their chaos to my calm…
The idea that music is enough to create a silent room…
Well, twilight is a powerful place, defined by the light we let in, by the breath we let out, by the dreams we hold on to, and the waking world we contemplate or consume
I was asked to go for a coffee. The request came like a hand reaching in to a dark planetarium. I went for a coffee.
Looking at the curtains, I slowly reached forward and peeked behind them
Time to wake up, time to set the silence down, noise to drown, to a room opened up, and a rush down a narrow indefinition
Time to wake up, but I hope tonight, when I am back in my room, with my “inside” clothes on, I will lay down and the dream will grow and grow until I walk with meditation.
It is a fine line, afterall, a sliver that you can only catch in your own glowing stillness - and that sliver is exactly the twilight we create…
and I can only imagine that when we see it, and study it, and feel it for what it is, it will disappear, creating a world that is never twilight and perpetually so - a wakeful dream to live slowly and thoughtfully and lightly and deeply, beyond the matter the speed or time of day
I’m going to try to catch that fracture in space.
Hello Paris - hello World - I wish I saw you like this more often -
By dreaming wakefully as the blue moon turns,
bringing my orbiting mind into alignment with its place
To dream is to be everywhere, to do so wakefully is to be celestial
Period. And my body seems to be floating away even as I don’t move - as my hands reach out, stretching for a keyboard tethered to a desk while I am pulled away and backwards through the ceiling and into the sun you can’t quite stare at before all goes dark and we are dreaming again within the little space between here and there, then and now, you and me, waking and dreaming